Not wanting to turn this story into a nautical nightmare but my mother iscurrently halfway through a cruise which takes in Sweden Finland and Russia It seems she has befriended the Captain of the ship after meeting him atthe Captains Ball a couple of nights ago. It was a themed affair Master andSlaves she sent me a text photo of her being dragged round the danceloor bya dog collar, Orange in mouth whilst Captain Birds eye stood behind her,his stilletoes resting on her back - so there she is half way round theBaltics with a cross dressing Man of the water as new flame Meanwhile Fionas new date from Richmond - I saw him last night while I wasround there mowing the lawn. Think looks of Richard Madely personallity ofRussell Grant - a vicious cocktail if ever there was one patronising butcamp luckily he did nt ask me my star sign Got a wedding photographer organised hes an expert in weddings but alsodoes Gonzo muckly adult movies so expect lots of phrases to the bride like'Work it cmon baby moan'
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